Just for those who have been keeping track, I did see the doctor this week and we got some feedback on those Braxton Hicks contractions. Unfortunately (for me), he said we were right to take it easy whenever I got so many and that I should be resting as much as possible... though, no official 'bed-rest' or anything (thank you!). He checked me out and said (hopefully this doesn't weird people out) that I wasn't dilated yet, but I was 25% effaced, which may just be normal for me. Furthermore, he mentioned that if I did happen to go into premature labor in the next week and a half (till about Jan 7th or so), that they would try to stop it, but if I began anytime after that they would just let it progress completely.
I am REALLY hoping that I can at least finish this intensive class of mine the week of Jan 7th-11th, because it would relieve me from taking a 3-hr evening class over an entire semester... and, since it's not offered as a semester class this spring, it would effect our loan-repayment scheduling!... so, as excited as it makes me to think that this baby could come into my arms earlier, I'm really hoping he waits a few more weeks. :) Meanwhile, Christian is doing his best to help me out and we're taking small trips to stores to get all our last-minute buying in place.
Oh, and I never really talked about this on the blog yet, but I have progressed significantly with my dissertation! yaa! On December 17th I went in front of my dissertation committee and defended the initial part of my dissertation (called my proposal), and passed! In this proposal (which has a literature review, rationale for study, and a statistical methods section) I describe what it is I am proposing to accomplish with my dissertation. During the defense, my committee asked me various questions about what I would be doing and made sure that I understood the statistics behind it (not the easiest part for me). They also suggest various additions or changes that will hopefully make it a better study. Now, the next step is for me to actually do the study, analyze it, write it up, and then defend that :) easier said than done- but I'll probably work on that in late spring and early summer, so that I might have a chance to defend the entire dissertation next fall (we'll see :). Oh, and in case you are wondering, my title (thus far) is "An Alternative Approach to Treating Anxiety: A Meta-Analytic Review of Art Therapy Treatment Outcomes"... really interesting sounding, huh? :) Basically, I'm going to look at all the well-designed studies that use art therapy to reduce anxiety symptoms and I'm going to figure out how effective this intervention is in achieving this goal.
I hope you are all doing well. Much Love!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Week 34- 6 more weeks to go!
Merry Christmas everyone! Christian and I just celebrated a wonderful Christmas together as we spent the day cooking and watching some nice movies. :) It was quite relaxing.
Well, actually, I've been getting some symptoms which have caused Christian to worry a bit about me. Braxton Hicks contractions- quite normal... just not as frequently as I've been getting them. It seems that anytime I stand up for five minutes or more I get one and they prefer you get less than 4 in an hour (otherwise my doc suggested I drink lots of liquids and lay down). So... in the last three days we've had a series of exertions where I've gotten 4 or more of these 'practice' contractions and we've cut our trip (ie, shopping or something) short so that I can get home and rest. Today was a bit difficult for me, as Christian insisted that I sit down most of the day and direct him. So he cleaned the apartment, learned how to cook a pumpkin pie, and pretty much cooked our whole Christmas meal. Amazing, huh? I just wish it wasn't so hard for me to stay still. Apparently, I can be quite stubborn... as I attempted to clean a bit while Christian was distracted on the computer, and that didn't work in my favor, as the contractions came back with a vengeance. :( So, if you think of it, you can pray that these symptoms stop or that when I see my doc on Thursday he tells me that we shouldn't be so worried. :)
Here's the lastest picture of this prego woman. I've certainly gotten big, and there's no mistaken that a baby's in there!
Some wonderful friends of mine, Tracy and Brooke, threw a fabulous baby shower for me not that long ago. It was simply amazing! Everyone was so supportive and encouraging, which was exactly what I had hoped for. So many encouraging words, it was so nice. It will be a treasured memory of mine for many years to come, that's for sure. I didn't end up getting a chance to get a picture of everyone who came, but here are a few that I snuck in at the last minute.
Here's Brooke and Tracy:
And here are some of the women from my small group at church (Heather, me, Renee, Michelle, and Kelly):
And here are some of my friends from both work and school (Amanda, Ariel, me, and Nicole) :
And Brooke made this fabulous cake out of diapers! I'd never seen one made like this before, it was stunning!
Fabulous, huh? Now, if only diaper changing were as fabulous. :)
Well, actually, I've been getting some symptoms which have caused Christian to worry a bit about me. Braxton Hicks contractions- quite normal... just not as frequently as I've been getting them. It seems that anytime I stand up for five minutes or more I get one and they prefer you get less than 4 in an hour (otherwise my doc suggested I drink lots of liquids and lay down). So... in the last three days we've had a series of exertions where I've gotten 4 or more of these 'practice' contractions and we've cut our trip (ie, shopping or something) short so that I can get home and rest. Today was a bit difficult for me, as Christian insisted that I sit down most of the day and direct him. So he cleaned the apartment, learned how to cook a pumpkin pie, and pretty much cooked our whole Christmas meal. Amazing, huh? I just wish it wasn't so hard for me to stay still. Apparently, I can be quite stubborn... as I attempted to clean a bit while Christian was distracted on the computer, and that didn't work in my favor, as the contractions came back with a vengeance. :( So, if you think of it, you can pray that these symptoms stop or that when I see my doc on Thursday he tells me that we shouldn't be so worried. :)
Here's the lastest picture of this prego woman. I've certainly gotten big, and there's no mistaken that a baby's in there!
Some wonderful friends of mine, Tracy and Brooke, threw a fabulous baby shower for me not that long ago. It was simply amazing! Everyone was so supportive and encouraging, which was exactly what I had hoped for. So many encouraging words, it was so nice. It will be a treasured memory of mine for many years to come, that's for sure. I didn't end up getting a chance to get a picture of everyone who came, but here are a few that I snuck in at the last minute.
Here's Brooke and Tracy:
And here are some of the women from my small group at church (Heather, me, Renee, Michelle, and Kelly):
And here are some of my friends from both work and school (Amanda, Ariel, me, and Nicole) :
And Brooke made this fabulous cake out of diapers! I'd never seen one made like this before, it was stunning!
Fabulous, huh? Now, if only diaper changing were as fabulous. :)
Friday, December 7, 2007
Musings on Motherhood (vol. 2) and Marriage
So, I have two months (so, they say) until the baby arrives. This is both exciting and ... can I say, intimidating? There was a time, recently, when I was pretty frightened of the upcoming responsibility (and, well, let's face it, it'll come again), but I had a wonderful dream the other night that put it all a different light. Until that time, my dreams had been pointing toward my underlying anxieties of whether I could manage it all, how my self-identity would be shifting, and if I would make some dramatic mistakes. The other night I had this vivid dream of holding my baby above my head as he looked down with a smile and giggled at me. I lowered him down, while smiling myself, and gave him a big kiss. The love between a mother and a child. :) I've been feeling that blessing now.
People will say, "I can't wait to meet him," and I understand, because I have said that many times to other pregnant friends in my life... but, I don't feel that way about my son. The reason is, that I feel like I've already met him. He moves and reacts to things ALL the time! It makes me grin, as I think about it now, because Christian and I tend to be pretty easy-going people, and I think we are in store for a pretty lively child. :)
So, I'm excited to finally hold him in my arms and look at his face, but there are definitely things I still need to get taken care of. Finding a family childcare provider, for instance, is incredibly hard. Both emotionally/psychologically and practically. How do you really know that someone is a good fit for your child? And the mommy guilt that comes with this is not insignificant. Why aren't there more books out there describing how hard it is to be both a professional and a mother? Perhaps there are... but, wow, it's difficult. In so many arenas, too.
Mothers who are able to stay a home and delight in their chosen occupation are to be greatly respected in my book... but, I think it may be difficult when we don't have many examples in life of women who provide for their families in other ways as well. Families come in all shapes and sizes and as I attempt to grow out of my need to be approved by others (...when will that be accomplished?) I am looking for ways to meet this challenge with integrity and humility. It's been helpful for me to 're-frame' this dilemma as an adventure of sorts. Sure, there are women who have done this before and are continuing to do it now, but it's refreshing and invigorating for me to see this new life transition as uncharted territory. How will God work in my life this time around? Can I continue to rest in him? Believe me, I am the first to realize that I will try (time and time again) to control all the different facets in my life so that it goes as I have planned... but, we all know what the end result of that is, don't we? Letting it go... little by little.
Christian is a wonderful man. I am so honored and blessed to have him in my life. He is strong, supportive, sensitive, and highly intelligent... not just with biology and research, but in social skills and in an ability to read people. He cares about people. He may not care that much about keeping a clean house or washing the dishes every night or putting the toilet seat down, but, in way he cares just because he knows I care. He pays attention to my moods and the way I need to be taken care of and he serves me... he almost seems to delight in serving me. There, literally, is not a day that goes by that he doesn't look at me and (even in the middle of another conversation) say how much his breathe is taken away by his perception of my beauty (especially with my pregnant body). How does such a man exist? He even loves the way I look when I'm angry at him! "Oh, you're beautiful when you're mad," he'll say. How can someone stay angry after that? :) he's gotta know what he's doing. He will even talk about how exciting it is to see all my mood-changes with this pregnancy... he calls it "passion" :) and I can see him trying to hold back a grin as he seeks to sympathize with my wild swings in mood.
This past month, Christian and I celebrated our 4th anniversary and looked back on all the ways that we've grown with and toward one another. It's true that marriage is hard work, but when you have a man like Christian, it all seems worth it. It is hard to describe, but there's a certain sense of warmth and intimacy that comes when you allow yourself to be shaped, molded, and supported by another. I know that my life, my pursuits, my thoughts and dreams... I know that all of these things affect my husband, just as his affect me. It may be hard to believe (though, most of you married folks will agree with me on this one) how even an argument, which results in a need to humble yourself to your spouse and listen to much needed critique... can make you feel closer to him. The other night we were both feeling stressed and in a bad mood ... and, well, it was only a matter of time before we fumbled ourselves into an argument. In the past I may have secretly taken a little bit (well, maybe a larger bit) of pride in my ability to assertively, rationally, and logically frame my arguments in a way that would likely lead to my 'victory,' but Christian has helped me see how relationships and marriages mean a whole lot more than 'winning' an argument. Of course, I've put victory and winning in quotation marks because you don't truly win when you make your spouse feel like they are less than who they are... or you choose not to really listen to where your spouse is coming from. Well, Christian gently reminded me the other night that I continually find it hard to humble myself and recant my 5-point positions... but once I did, it amazed me how grateful he was... it was like we hadn't even had an argument. How can it be so hard for me to remember that Christian is not out to hurt me or tear me down? Too much baggage in my past... and, here I am with a man who loves me for all of my insecurities and my sometimes all-too-tough facade. May the Lord continue to bless and protect us in this marriage as we approach an expansion to our family life.
People will say, "I can't wait to meet him," and I understand, because I have said that many times to other pregnant friends in my life... but, I don't feel that way about my son. The reason is, that I feel like I've already met him. He moves and reacts to things ALL the time! It makes me grin, as I think about it now, because Christian and I tend to be pretty easy-going people, and I think we are in store for a pretty lively child. :)
So, I'm excited to finally hold him in my arms and look at his face, but there are definitely things I still need to get taken care of. Finding a family childcare provider, for instance, is incredibly hard. Both emotionally/psychologically and practically. How do you really know that someone is a good fit for your child? And the mommy guilt that comes with this is not insignificant. Why aren't there more books out there describing how hard it is to be both a professional and a mother? Perhaps there are... but, wow, it's difficult. In so many arenas, too.
Mothers who are able to stay a home and delight in their chosen occupation are to be greatly respected in my book... but, I think it may be difficult when we don't have many examples in life of women who provide for their families in other ways as well. Families come in all shapes and sizes and as I attempt to grow out of my need to be approved by others (...when will that be accomplished?) I am looking for ways to meet this challenge with integrity and humility. It's been helpful for me to 're-frame' this dilemma as an adventure of sorts. Sure, there are women who have done this before and are continuing to do it now, but it's refreshing and invigorating for me to see this new life transition as uncharted territory. How will God work in my life this time around? Can I continue to rest in him? Believe me, I am the first to realize that I will try (time and time again) to control all the different facets in my life so that it goes as I have planned... but, we all know what the end result of that is, don't we? Letting it go... little by little.
Christian is a wonderful man. I am so honored and blessed to have him in my life. He is strong, supportive, sensitive, and highly intelligent... not just with biology and research, but in social skills and in an ability to read people. He cares about people. He may not care that much about keeping a clean house or washing the dishes every night or putting the toilet seat down, but, in way he cares just because he knows I care. He pays attention to my moods and the way I need to be taken care of and he serves me... he almost seems to delight in serving me. There, literally, is not a day that goes by that he doesn't look at me and (even in the middle of another conversation) say how much his breathe is taken away by his perception of my beauty (especially with my pregnant body). How does such a man exist? He even loves the way I look when I'm angry at him! "Oh, you're beautiful when you're mad," he'll say. How can someone stay angry after that? :) he's gotta know what he's doing. He will even talk about how exciting it is to see all my mood-changes with this pregnancy... he calls it "passion" :) and I can see him trying to hold back a grin as he seeks to sympathize with my wild swings in mood.
This past month, Christian and I celebrated our 4th anniversary and looked back on all the ways that we've grown with and toward one another. It's true that marriage is hard work, but when you have a man like Christian, it all seems worth it. It is hard to describe, but there's a certain sense of warmth and intimacy that comes when you allow yourself to be shaped, molded, and supported by another. I know that my life, my pursuits, my thoughts and dreams... I know that all of these things affect my husband, just as his affect me. It may be hard to believe (though, most of you married folks will agree with me on this one) how even an argument, which results in a need to humble yourself to your spouse and listen to much needed critique... can make you feel closer to him. The other night we were both feeling stressed and in a bad mood ... and, well, it was only a matter of time before we fumbled ourselves into an argument. In the past I may have secretly taken a little bit (well, maybe a larger bit) of pride in my ability to assertively, rationally, and logically frame my arguments in a way that would likely lead to my 'victory,' but Christian has helped me see how relationships and marriages mean a whole lot more than 'winning' an argument. Of course, I've put victory and winning in quotation marks because you don't truly win when you make your spouse feel like they are less than who they are... or you choose not to really listen to where your spouse is coming from. Well, Christian gently reminded me the other night that I continually find it hard to humble myself and recant my 5-point positions... but once I did, it amazed me how grateful he was... it was like we hadn't even had an argument. How can it be so hard for me to remember that Christian is not out to hurt me or tear me down? Too much baggage in my past... and, here I am with a man who loves me for all of my insecurities and my sometimes all-too-tough facade. May the Lord continue to bless and protect us in this marriage as we approach an expansion to our family life.
The Blessing of Our New Home
As, I've blogged about before, Christian and I recently moved, and it's been a HUGE blessing in our lives. We are almost entirely unpacked now, which is record-timing for us, and we only have the baby room and some other touch-ups to go. I'm loving this place so much, that I wanted to share some of my photos of the space. I love decorating, but I have a feeling my 'decorating style' may change a bit once the baby arrives ... and especially once he is up and moving around! :)... so, this is my last attempt at a pre-baby set-up.
This is the living room ... and the new color, Bayleaf green.
This is the dining room, where we enjoy most of our evening meals together... it's amazing how nice it is to have a dinner table to eat at!
Here's view of the living room and dining room from the kitchen.
And here's the kitchen. I needed more space for storage, so that's why the main table is in the dining room. It been nice having the stools in there, as one of us will sit down and talk to the other as we cook dinner (we tend to take turns). As you might be able to see, I still have a couple boxes to unpack in there.
And here's our bedroom. Christian thought it would be nice for me to have a small desk/vanity in there, and I have LOVED the convenience that this has brought. ...and I'm sure he enjoys having a clear counter-top in the bathroom. :)
The color on the wall is an oatmeal color, and it's not exactly this dark, but the lighting is a bit fainter in there... which works for us, as you don't really need bright lighting in a master bedroom. (and it's brighter in other areas of the apartment)
And, of course, we've just had our first big snow and it's simply gorgeous in the living room. It makes the apartment so bright!
And... (BIG smile), Christian got me a wonderful rocker/recliner for my birthday. It will eventually be in the baby room as my 'rocking-the-baby' chair, but as it is so comfortable, Christian and I have been enjoying it in the living room. I thought about the 'traditional' glider, but I never really liked the look of them (as in, I didn't think they would fit with the rest of our furniture once it they graduated to a post-baby state). This will be a wonderful help as I rock the baby to sleep.
This is the living room ... and the new color, Bayleaf green.
This is the dining room, where we enjoy most of our evening meals together... it's amazing how nice it is to have a dinner table to eat at!
Here's view of the living room and dining room from the kitchen.
And here's the kitchen. I needed more space for storage, so that's why the main table is in the dining room. It been nice having the stools in there, as one of us will sit down and talk to the other as we cook dinner (we tend to take turns). As you might be able to see, I still have a couple boxes to unpack in there.
And here's our bedroom. Christian thought it would be nice for me to have a small desk/vanity in there, and I have LOVED the convenience that this has brought. ...and I'm sure he enjoys having a clear counter-top in the bathroom. :)
The color on the wall is an oatmeal color, and it's not exactly this dark, but the lighting is a bit fainter in there... which works for us, as you don't really need bright lighting in a master bedroom. (and it's brighter in other areas of the apartment)
And, of course, we've just had our first big snow and it's simply gorgeous in the living room. It makes the apartment so bright!
And... (BIG smile), Christian got me a wonderful rocker/recliner for my birthday. It will eventually be in the baby room as my 'rocking-the-baby' chair, but as it is so comfortable, Christian and I have been enjoying it in the living room. I thought about the 'traditional' glider, but I never really liked the look of them (as in, I didn't think they would fit with the rest of our furniture once it they graduated to a post-baby state). This will be a wonderful help as I rock the baby to sleep.
Visiting (and being visited by) Loved Ones
This past month, I've had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends. As seen below, we saw my sister, Ruth, and her husband, Matt, this past thanksgiving, but we also got a visit from my folks earlier in the month and I visited some dear friends, Tawnya and Sam, as well.
Tawnya and I met at church when we were in junior high and have been friends ever since... with each of us playing a significant role in each other's weddings, and now as we share the life transition of having a little baby. We both forgot/neglected to take a photo of the two of us together, but I did manage to remember to get one photo of me holding her little boy, Truman (though, admittedly Truman's face isn't readily seen here).
When my parent's came out it was over my birthday, which was very nice. Believe it or not, I had not been able to spend an actual birthday with with my parents since high school! They took us out to eat at wonderful restaurants, bought me some very nice maternity wear, and blessed Christian and I with a wonderful crib. Here are a couple pics of the weekend:
Tawnya and I met at church when we were in junior high and have been friends ever since... with each of us playing a significant role in each other's weddings, and now as we share the life transition of having a little baby. We both forgot/neglected to take a photo of the two of us together, but I did manage to remember to get one photo of me holding her little boy, Truman (though, admittedly Truman's face isn't readily seen here).
When my parent's came out it was over my birthday, which was very nice. Believe it or not, I had not been able to spend an actual birthday with with my parents since high school! They took us out to eat at wonderful restaurants, bought me some very nice maternity wear, and blessed Christian and I with a wonderful crib. Here are a couple pics of the weekend:
Thanksgiving
We had a wonderful time over Thanksgiving this year. Christian and I went out to Kentucky, with Christian's brother Chase, to see my sister, her husband, and her little angel. We had a blast. The meal on Thanksgiving day was everything a Thanksgiving meal should/could be and the rest of the weekend was spent playing some of our favorite games and just relaxing around the house.
There we all are playing a fun game we learned, called Bang!... it's a card game created in Italy about the American West... with "Willy the Kid." :)
Anyone recognize this game? :) We had five people playing Cities and Knights, but without the C&K expansion, we just made our own extra knights and city walls. :)
Here's Christian having some fun with little Aidan (almost 2 yrs old). Aidan thought it was hilarious to have a pillow fight with his uncle Chris... Aidan is definitely a happy child, as he's always laughing or smiling. :)
And here are some pics of the proud parents, Matt and Ruth.
It was wonderful to spend some time with Ruth and talk about 'prego' stuff... I'm not sure if it inspired her to have another soon or frightened her off :) but it was certainly nice to see a sibling while I was going through such a momentous time in my life. I kept telling Aidan he would be having a little boy cousin soon, but I don't know if he quite understood what I was saying... he just smiled. :)
There we all are playing a fun game we learned, called Bang!... it's a card game created in Italy about the American West... with "Willy the Kid." :)
Anyone recognize this game? :) We had five people playing Cities and Knights, but without the C&K expansion, we just made our own extra knights and city walls. :)
Here's Christian having some fun with little Aidan (almost 2 yrs old). Aidan thought it was hilarious to have a pillow fight with his uncle Chris... Aidan is definitely a happy child, as he's always laughing or smiling. :)
And here are some pics of the proud parents, Matt and Ruth.
It was wonderful to spend some time with Ruth and talk about 'prego' stuff... I'm not sure if it inspired her to have another soon or frightened her off :) but it was certainly nice to see a sibling while I was going through such a momentous time in my life. I kept telling Aidan he would be having a little boy cousin soon, but I don't know if he quite understood what I was saying... he just smiled. :)
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